


Crash Course

by Faestae



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Flirting 101, Fluff, One Shot, non-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 08:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6463213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faestae/pseuds/Faestae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren told you once your hair was as soft as the fur on a dead Bantha. After dragging their hands down their faces in disbelief, General Hux and Captain Phasma decide this has gone on for far too long. It was time for some flirting lessons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crash Course

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first request! 
> 
> A little non-canon fluff to start things off~ Enjoy!

“Alright, Ren.” General Hux pushed his middle finger and thumb to his temple. “Let’s try this again. From the top this time.”

Kylo cleared his throat, taking a short breath.

“Wrong.” Phasma snapped. “No hesitating”

Kylo jerked his head towards the captain, snarling behind his respirator. “I haven’t said anything yet,” he drew out his words, “Captain.”

Phasma crossed her arms, reflecting his irritated stare from her own helmet. “You hesitate, you lose.”

From her bed, Millicent purred, rolling onto her beck, tail flicking sleepily back and forth. General Hux’s office was quiet, the second quietest office on the base, perfect for an “emergency” meeting.

Kylo had seen you again today in the command center. You were walking by him, your boots clicking decisively against the black tile. You had walked by him. He liked that. In fact, he burned up so fast for a loss of words, in his attempt for a quick leave, he stepped on his cloak. He shouted, ripped the damn thing from under him, and lost his footing. Hux, who had been standing beside him, barely raised his eyes from his data pad. This being the third incident this week, it was time for a crash course in flirting.

“Ren,” Hux crossed his ankles in his chair and pushed the pads of his fingers together, “Again.”

Kylo huffed. “The Captain won’t let me finish.”

Hux turned his disgruntled gaze to Phasma. “Captain.” His lip curled in disgust.

Phasma turned her helmet back to Hux, “Go on, commander.” She sighed.

The general gestured to him expectantly.

Kylo turned back to Hux and took another deep breath. He pictured your boots on the tile, and the way one strand of your hair had fallen out of your ponytail, curling innocently behind your ear. His cheeks grew hot. “Your,” he cleared his throat, “Your boots are clean today.”

Silence swept the office.

General Hux kept his fingers pressed to his mouth, the Captain, her external expression unchanging, uttered a single chuckle.

She suddenly howled in laughter, tipping her head back and clutching her stomach. “Your boots!” she cackled, “Do we have a foot fetish, now, commander?”

Kylo’s cheeks burned red hot, Hux remained silent, sighing and shaking his head. “Well, what am I supposed to say, You”RE SUPPOSED to be assisting me. I did not call you here to be ridiculed!” snapped Kylo.

“Hard to believe the commander of the First Order having a difficult time telling a girl she’s pretty.” Phasma said with a shrug. “What do you expect her to say to that?”

“At least thank me,” Kylo muttered curtly.

“Do you even know anything about her, commander?” Phasma laughed, “Or is your strategy just to describe her in the most monotonous way possible and hope she blushes?”

“Just—read off the paper, Ren!” Hux picked up the haphazardly thrown together list of flirtatious lines he gathered and waved it around. “That’s all you have to do! Stop trying to make things up!”

Kylo snatched the paper from his hand and looked it over. “These are stupid!” he snapped. “You want me to tell her—” he cleared his throat again “Did you sit in sugar, because you have a pretty sweet ass,”

Hux jerked his head to Phasma who didn’t even flinch, despite being responsible for the assembly of this master list.

She shrugged, “It worked for me.” Millicent stood up, picking her claws at her black cat bed as she stretched. She sat her rump down on the bed and watched.

“Why don’t we try one without the silly mask.” Phasma suggested.

Enraged, Kylo snarled at her, “The mask stays on. She sees my face, it’s over. I can’t hide from her then.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” the captain mused. “How else is she supposed to trust you if she can’t see your face.”

“I am her _commander_. Her trust in me is pre-established!”

Still in disbelief over the audacious lines, Hux snapped, “Captain! You were SUPPOSED to come up with REASONABLE things for a commander to say!” Hux whined, gesturing his hands expressively.

“And I did,” Phasma insisted. She turned to Kylo. “Read line seven.”

Kylo looked back to the paper, “Your body,” he began, “Is 65% water, and I’m thirsty.”

The general groaned, his head hitting the desk, “I don’t have any time for this. Phasma, I’ll leave this to you. I wash my hands of this nonsense.” He rose to his feet, collecting his data pad and rubbing his temples again. “I’m returning to my post.”

“General,” Kylo’s voice cracked, the same tone as a plea would sound, if he had ever plead.

“Meow,” squeaked Millicent.

General Hux glanced down at his feline, then furrowed his eyebrows at the both of them, his resting scowl returning. “Work it out, will you?”

 

\--The Next Day--

 

You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. It was the only piece you couldn’t confine to a bun by First Order employee standards, so you pushed it back frequently. You resumed typing, taking a moment to adjust your earpiece.  Kylo was watching it from across the room, anxiously digging his gloved fingers into his own palm, counting how many times you fiddled with your hair. Thirty-one.

You glanced up suddenly. Kylo was staring at you. Frightened, you glanced, left, then right. He _was_ looking at you. Quickly, you returned to your work, forcing yourself to type faster.

“You’re alarming her,” murmured General Hux.

Kylo didn’t move. “How else am I to get her attention?”

Hux shut his eyes, letting out a short sigh, “A foolish question apparently.”

“The Captain insists I speak to her today.”

Hux flicked a few documents left, then right, distributing them to nearby stations swiftly. He raised his head, looking at you over his nose. “And? What will you tell her?”

“What I tell her will be between us.” Thirty-two. He watched your finger trail along your neck, scratching behind your ear.

“That, I doubt,” grunted Hux.

Just then, Phasma entered and took her place at the edge of the room, resting her hand casually on her blaster.

Your heart finally slowed down. You were back in the swing of things, searching the database for anomalies, sending important information to Hux himself. With your ankles crossed under your seat, you tapped your toe to a song you heard yesterday. It was a nice song, you thought.

“Y/N.” the voice startled you and stumbling over your ankles, you rise to your feet, “Sir!” You announce, clicking your heels together.

It was Kylo. You swallow hard. He hesitated.

“Y/N,” he said again, a little slower. “I am going to have to ask you to leave the premise.” He said firmly.

General Hux raised his eyes from the back of the room, pining to hear what Kylo was saying. His lips parted in disbelief.

Suddenly, everyone’s eyes were on you. Your colleagues were looking at you panicked. You met everyone’s glance you could from who you could see as if it was the last time. Was it your hair? Your chest iced over. You scold yourself for not cutting it off while you had the chance. Why didn’t you just do it? You tucked it back quickly. Thirty-three.

Saliva pooled in your mouth and you frantically swallow it down. “Sir?”

“Leave the premise,” Kylo repeated. “You are making the rest of your colleagues look—less desirable.”

From across the room, Phasma flashed Kylo and thumbs up and Hux groaned audibly.

Your chest is on fire now, you could feel the burning of everyone’s attention on you and it made your chest get even colder. You have no choice but to nod, “Y-yes sir.” You whispered.

“What was that?” Kylo growled.

“Yes sir!” you said louder, your voice cracking. Stumbling over your feet, you quickly exit past General Hux who was clutching his data pad furiously. Trembling, you push your hair back behind your ear. Thirty-four. Kylo returned to Hux’s side.

“I need to borrow the cat,”

Furious, Hux turned his head to Kylo, “Are you mad?” he hissed. “You make a damn fool out of yourself and now you want Millicent? Absolutely not.” He spat his last words meticulously. “Commander, this has gone too far.”

Kylo didn’t reply as Phasma approached, her armor clinking casually. “Commander,” she said clicking her heels together as you had done. “Phase two is ready.”

“Phase two,” Hux barely whispered, disbelief washing over his face, “You did that on purpose?” he hissed.

“We are only following orders, general,” Phasma stated. “We’ve worked it out.”

“The cat?” Kylo pressed.

“NO!” Hux was bubbling with anger, so much you could hear him outside in the hall where you were standing.

You jumped, turning your attention back down to the floor. You chewed nervously on your fingers, not sure where to go. Kylo had always acted so strange toward you, but this was just weird. Then, you considered it. Did you really look more desirable than Kate? It didn’t take long for the embarrassment to settle in again after that.

You walked down the hall aimlessly, your wobbling legs causing you to trip over your freshly waxed boots. You folded your arms across your chest as you walked, wondering what in the galaxy you could have done wrong. Chewing on your nail, you turned the next corner sharper than the last and you smacked someone head on.

You reeled back, catching your feet under you as quickly as you could. When your eyes found the person you bumped, your heart tumbled into your stomach.

It was Kylo Ren. He towered over you, hands behind his back, without a word.

“C-commander, sir.” You stammered. Today was definitely not your day. In all honesty, you could see yourself getting fired. “I apologize, sir. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Thirty-five.

“Y/N.” he said, just as firm as the way he said it in the control room. He said your name slowly again, and it made you cringe just slightly. As he got ready to speak, a yowl cut him off. From inside his robes, scrambled Millicent, clawing him desperately for an escape.

You cry out as the tabby digs her claws into Kylo’s robe. “Oh my gods, Millicent!” You take a step back as Kylo reaches to snatch the cat, but the cat dodges, latching on to his helmet.

“Commander!” you gasp.

Kylo stumbled back, hollering, grabbing at the cat within the limits of his vision.

“Commander, h-hang on!” You hesitated before diving for the helmet, going for the slippery kitty. Your hands find the cat’s midsection, but she wiggled free kicking the respirator latch off of Kylo’s helmet.

Your hands are on the helmet now and when you felt it hiss, you gave it a good yank. Kylo’s helmet flew off and the cat took a leaping dive off of the helmet. Millicent’s claws skittered across the floor and she skidded around the corner and out of sight.

The two of you stand there, panting, looking down the hall where General Hux’s cat made her escape. You with Kylo’s helmet clutched in your hands, and him, with a paper thin scratch across his cheek.

When you look back at each other, you heart jumps into your throat. You’ve never seen him without his mask before. Knowing his obsession with Vader, you half expected him to resemble him, but you’ve never been more glad to be wrong.

Kylo panted with his whole chest, suddenly realizing he could see your face clearly now. He immediately turned red around the ears, and from the corner behind you, he could see Phasma poking her head out.

You avert your eyes, “I-I’m sorry, commander, I—” you offer him back his helmet, fixing your hair. Thirty-six.

Kylo snapped his head to Phasma who shook her head violently.

“I—won’t be needing that,” he stammered.

Phasma straightened her shoulders, and Kylo mirrored her before turning his honey-colored eyes back to you.

He had a good look at your eyes now. He drew a hard blank. The obvious malfunction of his plan to charm you with the cat threw him off and he was left looking at you with nothing to say.

“Oh..” you whispered quietly. Your hands start to sweat holding his helmet, and when you adjust your grip, you notice his cheek. The small cut from Millicent started to bleed and you gasped quietly, “Oh, Commander, your cheek.”

Kylo blinked, suddenly made aware of his wound.

“You’re bleeding.” You stared at him a little while longer before reaching into your pocket. “I—I think I have something here.” Producing a pink tissue you wrapped it in your hand, setting the helmet down on the ground. You reached up, dabbing his cheek. His face was warm, and his eyes watched yours while you cleaned him up.

“Your eyes,” he choked, “Are like the cats,”

You looked back at him. Your hair falls out from behind your ear.

“They’re—ah—big. And they’re–good.”

Involuntarily, your cheeks turned pink. Habitually, you placed your hair behind your ear, despite your shock. Thirty-seven.

Hux had joined Phasma now, his entire face red as he was clutching Millicent, stroking possessively between her ears. He pushed to confront him, but Phasma threw her arm out, stopping him in his place. Millicent meowed.

“Commander,” You find keeping yourself from smiling difficult, because his ears are as red as the badge on your breast, “Are you flirting with me?”

Kylo, although most of his face was red, couldn’t keep his eyes off of your face. He was struggling to keep himself focused on you. He cleared his throat, re-positioning his feet a few inches. “Is uh—is it working?”

Phasma and Hux look at each other.

You laugh gently, hiding your grin by lowering your head before looking back up at him. Adrenaline made your hands shake and you couldn’t tell if you were laughing out of disbelief or nervousness. Your hand is behind your ear. Thirty-eight. And when your eyes met his, he bore a sheepish smile, that yanked your heart out of your gut and sent it into your throat.

When you saw his cheek, you gasp, and his smile disappeared.

“What?”

“I think uh—Millicent may have had some kitty litter on her claws.”

Kylo searched your face.

“You’re swelling.” You whispered.

He reached up to touch it, but you caught his hand. He stared at you blankly, his lips parted slightly as if shocked to even touch you. He closed his mouth and swallowed hard.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” you said softly, closing your other hand on his, securing it away from his face.

When you start walking, he goes easily with you, not allowing himself to be too far from you. “Your boots are clean,” he said quickly.

You laughed, “Thank you, commander.”


End file.
